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Oh bloggie darling... It's been quite sometime that i've been thinking to hop further for my future. But, how far can i hop when my guts are utterly gone and the sight of an interview just scares me away from any step towards it.
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Gosh! How often must i remind myself that i can do better than this, i can do it... can i? Self-confidence has been lacking day by day. I NEED A BETTER JOB with a BETTER WAGE and a BETTER BENEFIT and a BETTER ATMOSPHERE. ( aih, i think that's every employee's wishes ) Am so effing sick of my gutless self!

It's Monday

Staring aimlessly at my desktop.. Procrastination! or maybe, i just dont have enough workload!... I am so bored !

Ain't the same again

Browsing through my younger days' blogs. I felt somehow somewhere i'm not the same again. Reading through my "highest spending" post, i guess, at this point of my life, i wouldn't spend so much again on skin care without proper consideration and further analysis on the review of the products. Now i think my facial care is half the price i dig out last time.

When i was still a student, i spent unconsciously without worrying the amount left in my bank account. No, maybe i did slightly worry but not as terrifyingly worried like how i do now. As a student, at least you still got the audacity to feed your accounts through parent's inofficial fund but now, do you still have the cheek to feed your account the same way? Of course NO! Being an independent adult now, i'd have to save every single cents i could to feed my living. Well, of course i did not put my al-mighty effort to control my spending but i do now!!! I'm trying to spend less on clothes, accesories, groceries. I'm even looking on promotional items and buying in bulk, literally~ Ok, i used to buy only when i need it, but now my mind has been strategized for the sake of saving, hence, i opt for vouchers and to buy more during promotions so that i could save a few ringgits when it's not on promotion. Oh, aint i a thrifty adult now. LOL... ok, im being thrifty just so that i could buy other things. Maybe i did not change~

It has been months since my phone is in a disgraceful condition where parts could come off anytime from now. It's time for me to change a new 1. Oh im so confused which should i change. It's hard to decide when you have limited resources and you want a better version of phone to suit your use. Aih, but when you have the resources and you know which model of phone you want, BUT, here comes the major wall, the mind. The mind keeps processing juices of rationality to stop me from buying it. No maybe i did change. If i'm a carefree student, i would have bought it. Now thoughts have been procrastinating me from the purchase. Alright alright, i might as well just save for a few more months before buying it. Aih stupid phone!

PS: I must be freaking bored for posting another blog again today. No. I am freakingly bored!!!!

Months of dissappearance...

oh bloggie... After months of dissappearing from the blogsphere, here i am now, blogging again for the sake of killing boredom in office. Hell, i'm so freaking bored now and i didn't know what to do and so Phoebe suggested me to blog! Credits to her, i've redesigned my blogs according to the new templates in the settings and started blogging again.

Uh.. That's all.. Redesigned my blogs and just drop by to say hi. Well initially i planned to talk about something... something... So much of pieces of scenes scattering in my mind and so nothing came out syncrhonically.

Oh... to be continued...

Thoughts

Tracking into my memory lane...

I sometimes ask myself, "Hey, what if it isn't so? What if nothing ever happened?"...The thoughts "What if" usually lead me to a better imaginary path of life. Nevertheless, we human often thinks what if the unchosen path would be better?

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Thoughts remained thoughts. It's too good to be reality! I've asked myself, would i prefer to live through a world of "what if", trapping myself in a sea of thoughts rather than "if never"? In my point of view, "what if" builds a vision of illusion whilst "if never" builds a whole life of experiences and learning processes. Which would you like to be in?

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Despite those bothering thoughts, i honestly am contented with my life now. At times, a constant touch of happiness makes one knows not how to appreciate it and even take granted of it. Why? Simply because they haven't know what is sadness. That is in sadness we learn happiness!

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But life, words are easier than action. We do weaken ourselves when we have not enough guts to take the first step. Do let me grumble once in a while in my weakest moment. I promise i'll be good then. Love you!

Challenges

Dear Life,

I'd just a need a little confidence back. Where has it gone to?

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PS: Please come back to me, im waiting for you.

Love,

Jo

人生五味

鹹，酸，苦，辣，甜。。。人生啊，可不可以多一点甜，少一点 鹹 酸 苦 辣 呢？

人啊，就是犯贱！没鹹酸苦辣，就不懂得甜！

人！

Back!

Good day, whoever...I'm back to blogsphere! Why? Because i've chosen the path of an engineer with profesion in measuring land~

Till then...

All i can say is

My life is such a drama.....

to be continued...

A narrow escape

Was on our way to 1U, happily thinking what to eat for dinner. Jie was on the phone with her bf while driving, i was listening to the radio. The front car stopped, we stopped too, unfortunately, the car after another car at the back of us did not stop. BANG!!! It was kind of a loud bang till Jie's bf heard over the phone. All i could utter was F***, and all im thinking was "Sien, have to take leave to fix the car " !!!

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Jie turned the emergency light on in the middle of LDP and went down to check what exactly happened and how wounded is my Myvi. From my seat, i could see a white Myvi hit the Saga which is at the back of mine and kissed my Myvi's butt.. It was so close, Jie couldn't see how terrible the wound is so she drove forward a bit to check the damages. Fortunately the back of my baby isn't terribly damaged! Thus, we drove off without asking for any payment. The lady who drove the Myvi was scared that she didnt come out of her car and started calling for help. Instead, her friend came down to look at the damages done. The Saga was drove by a guy who seems gentle. According to my sis, he's expression was so tired and "sien". Jie said the white Myvi was badly damaged as it's bumper was dented, kind of folded into half. I didnt walk to the back to see how bad the damage is because i was so "sien", makes me feel down and didnt want to bother other's business. I checked my car, went back in and continued our journey to 1U.

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Reached the parking area, we checked the car. Both side sensor almost came off but we managed to push it back in, Myvi's fat butt was slightly higher than usual, i guessed it was raised by the impact of Saga's deadliest kiss, and a there were a few scratches. No dents, nothing came off, fine! The whole shopping trip ain't as exciting, i was down with dissapointment. Another imperfection to my car~~~ Fortunately, it isn't a terrible one and it was a Saga at my back instead of any other car. As Saga front has a plastic thingie, i guessed it was that who saved my Myvi from dents. Thank you PLastic! Thinking of a day to send my car for a new refreshing moment, WASH POLISH WAX! Ahhh, i wish i have more time~~~

Thriller

I love him with all my heart. I knew he's attempting to kill someone whom he didn't like. He brought the shotgun with him and i stopped him. The shotgun i've carried along was now pointing at his direction. He was surprised till he couldnt even utter a single word. Now both of us had our shotguns pointing at each other. He was threatening me to put down the gun and questioned me why am i doing this. Before i could say anything, my fingers pulled the trigger. TWICE! Twice, the bullet flew from the small hole hitting his cheek and chest. There he went tumbling down with blood flowing like a burst pipe~~

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Silently, i bent down, am speechless of what i have done. I felt lost as if my heart and mind is gone from my body. I'm sorry... What have i done??? I hugged him tightly.. and resorted in killing myself... BUT! but it suddenly strike my mind that committing suicide isn't good as one might be doomed to commit suicide for the rest of the afterlife. Thus, i've thought of making someone to kill me! .................................................................

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Suddenly, i woke up! Damn dream la... Yorrrrrrrrrrrrr... how can i make such stupid dream.. Dammit!Must post it because i dont want to kill TYH!!!! I really dreamt i shot him! ARghhh i cried in my dream.. APA NI!~~~ CHOI CHOI CHOI!!

The return of TJL

Bonjour readers!

I know i know i know, my blog has been in silence for quite some while. In fact many things had happened in this whole month of September. Well allow me to clarify that i did not abandon my blog. There're many times when i wanted to update TJL but when i were about to type, i was navigated away with games and dramas. In fact, i was out of words. I know i could easily type random emotions just like what i used to do in my previous post, but i'm just merely lazy and the atmosphere did not motivate me to type! (It's warm in my rented room!) Anyhow, here, I'M BACK!

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Well, work has been interesting and dull so far! Having company's culture at my finger tips, i guess i could adapt better now. It's been a month now. Time flies isnt it? I suddenly felt im fortunate to get a place in this company, however, i must it's a small company where the system isn't as efficient as the bigger companies. No, i havent turn into an amibitous girl in a twilight, i just somehow feel the system isn't organized. Despite this, i think my boss is nice in certain ways! Lol.. Even during meeting, she called all of us to discuss and brainstorm on coding the product and asked us to try. All of us as in the whole office! Although we're allowed to voice our opinion, but, somehow, there must be filtering. Bear in mind that boss is still boss! Everyone was hungry during the meeting as it's almost off office hour, then, we brought in Mister Potato and Love Letters to munch during meeting. Lol.. Hye, as what i've said, boss is still boss, cant run away from certain typical character~~~ All in all, i'm ok in my work.

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Anyway, i still wish to be my own boss someday! WAKKAKA... I know i'm already a boss at home to TYH, but what i meant is a real businesswoman... I think i'll be a boss that losses are more than profit~ Sigh.. i'm still learning! And again, i can't believe i've been working for a month already! Gosh~

Q

Do you like being a grown up?

I used to think i want to be a grown up asap... Now.. i'm not sure! I only like certain goodbyes, but generally, i dislike goodbyes no matter it's a long term or a short term! It causes a bitter heart~~~ SIGH

Random Wind

I wanted to blog... I am lazy to elaborate, exaggerate, explain.. So much to say, so much to do, so few of words~~~Hence, here's my random thoughts

1. I think my freedom, holidays, goyang kaki time, facebook time, game time, chat time will decrease drastically starting next week.
2. My footsteps are getting heavier.
3. I feel like joining The Biggest Loser Asia, but i think i'm not qualified~
4. I thought i would be nostalgic after convocation but i'm not, which i dont understand why, probably my emo wind haven't blew by.
5. I think i'm ready to leave the past behind and move forward.
6. I am bad with names, it's undeniable!
7. I think my hair is lack of nutrition that it seems like it doesnt grow~~~
8. I hope i'm stronger than yesterday.
9. Entering the adult phase isn't fun, but i do not want to turn back time.
10. I want to change my perception and other people's perception on the idea of "Students from English / Kebangsaan schools are suppose to be good in their main languages!"
11. I wish time would freeze now.
12. I cannot see any dreams now.
13. I'm climbing a mountain where the peak is beyond my vision.
14. I do not need to be wealthy, i only need to be ambitious, but i am just following the flow now.
15. I pray everything will go smoothly.
16. When there's no turning point, i've learned to look up and seek for God!

Convocation

2009 Graduation Photo

20 years later...
Hopefully memories carved in the hearts are still as colorful as the 1st photo. Even though, photos turn old, i hope memories remains it's color.

Guess Who?

GUESS WHO?

Who do you think we're impersonating???
We're trying to impersonate someone and hahaha San and be think that my pose is the most alike! So GUESS GUESS GUESS!!!!

*Note: This is just for fun...As usual we're in the fitting room camwhoring. In one of the many photos we'd captured, we saw a similar posture of a friend that i accidentally put up! Thus we came up with the posture above!

Guts expansion, literally

HAH! Guts Expansion, Literally... Alright, just so i thought i will never dare myself in trying new hairstyles right now (especially not when my convo's around the corner), that i would just dream of it and remain it in bubbles thoughts... No, no one dares me out of this, no one provoke me, neither did anyone commented on my hair..

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Right.. This story began on a beautiful Saturday noon when i was casually chatting with friends on msn. Then my best friend pop up an invitation for a hair cut.. As i had just finished watching Lipstick Jungle, i was really REALLY thinking about getting my fringe trimmed like Victory Ford in that series. Next a sudden word rises from deep within my heart and the impulse had travelled through a short cut within seconds and the cause and effect sensory were not awaken... and YES! Yes, so i've agreed and she'll be picking me up in half an hour time.. Surprisingly, my "cause and effect" sense were still unconscious~~~

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So.. here...

BEFORE

AFTER

Hah.. i was laughing all the way after the cut and the journey back home and even while on the phone with Guan.. I guessed i was just so excited with this new look. Family were laughing their arse off.. I guess i was being hit by my guts and i have no idea what am i doing! Lol.. i'm still laughing right now! Something must be wrong with me... Well, friends, please welcome my new look and dont say you dont know me! Hahahah Take a good look!

Oh... by the way, this picture was publicized in facebook under Ching Ee's "friends" album.. This girl is soooooooooo crazy and this is what she does when i updated her my new look on a Sunday morning. She was lonely in the library and i was thinking of giving her a good laugh! And, she conned me into sending her this pic and then she publicized it in her facebook. Lol .. This is what friends are for.. wakaka... lol.. anyway, i will still sayang you la chingee, despite your evilness...Im sooooooo forgiveful~~ lolz

One sentence of the day!

I am standing in the midst of war with a shotgun without bullets~~~

Father's Day dinner

How did i celebrate Fathers' Day? Be good and follow family for Dad's Sun De Association Dinner! It's a cantonese 'puak' association dinner which was held annually but most of the time they speak mandarin there~~~And there were people dancing and singing on the stage, gosh, some out of tune, some dance until very hebat, and a young girl singing oldies but look so snobbish~~( all the elderly there, singing~~) .. it feels like a Classic Sunday TV show, aired in AEC!.. probably this is my Classic Saturday~~~

The unflattering sunk tarts~~~

This young lady on the phone kept sms-ing the whole time during dinner.. While her younger sis turns from happy mode to a sudden touch-and-u'll-die mood!

But i managed to cheer her up by keep taking her pictures and asked her to pose with our granny!

My bro and his wife...See.. i'm bored like that! Taking their pictures~~~

I see something in her... Hmmmm a young lady who couldnt wait to grow up and explore the world~~ LOL .. Sigh, i'm mou liu until like that! The gap between dishes was too long, it takes ages for them to serve~~~Probably they're giving time for speeches, afraid no one would listen?


And, that's me with my couzy.. Tried to capture my parents photo but dad is busy entertaining people and tried to victimized his friend to sing on stage while he back him up~~

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Well.. that's my Saturday this week.. Hey not going out on a Saturday night doesn't mean one has no friends..Haha, why some people think that Saturday must be a day filled with outings? Oh, i read it from the newspaper the other day.. ok ok, this is so random, but i just felt like mentioning here because... i didnt have dates on all Saturday! No big deal okie..I used to go shopping with parents on most of the weekend but as i enter the era of an undergrad, i stayed home while my parents went shopping~ hmmm..

I've dreamed....

Dream 1:

I dreamed a dream... nothing in particular with Susan Boyle...i just dreamed a dream..It was out of a sudden, i'm back to high school after i've graduated in uni~ Weird huh, dressed in a sky blue color skirt and a white blouse with long sleeve, an undergraduate back to high school for schooling. Gosh, i was devastated by the fact that i was back in Form 6 when everything was just like before, all my juniors were there, my classroom, the school.. the only difference was my teachers were way older than before, they have wrinkles, more white hairs and slow gestures~~~Urgh.. i freak out in my dream because i just didnt want to repeat Form 6! It was by far the hardest time ever with Maths S.. Far too much for me, i couldnt take it , i begged to leave that place...( Well, in actual fact, i didnt despise secondary school that much, but it's really a place where too much conflict happens... well , u know, girls school... and how girls can go to the extreme to hurt one verbally...and add maths is the subject i dislike most, i dislike integration, differentiation, everything!)

I woke up comparing Uni with Secondary school.. and i found that, i love uni more than secondary school..Probably i have less pressure in UNi plus I DO NOT HAVE TO ATTEND FREAKING TUITION CLASSES EVERY NOW AND THEN!!!!!!!! Yes, note that! I dislike tuition classes more than anything (oh put it in the same category as animals, stalkers, darkness, ghost) and i'll put every single effort to skip tuition classes to stay home and watch TV! Now i could hardly remember my days in secondary school! Probably my Uni memories took up most of my memory space in my limited capacity brain..

Dream 2:

i got electrocuted! i dreamt my notebook black off and the thunder also striked my watch~ what a dumb dream!..

Dream 3:

Guan's in a police team and they're trapping some criminals who asked for money! So...they need two cars to send money to them thus i offer my SISTER's car! So Guan and me send his Vios and my sister's Myvi to some not-so-ulu place with a big amount of ransom in both cars. Then both of us left the place.. the next few days when we're suppose to collect our car, we went to the same place and sat at a mamak just beside the place. When we're in the mamak, i saw all my schoolmates there and when we walk further into the stall, it turns out they have a big stadium at the back where high school students were seating there cheering for some game~~~(i know they're high school student because they appear to be wearing school uniform!)..Ok.. then we took a place in front of the mamak and order our drinks and my friends came by and said helo.

Then, that place where we left our car turns out to be a car wash area and while we were in the mamak, the people send car there to the owners who were enjoying their meals at the mamak while waiting for their car to be polished! Cars by cars sent, even Guan's Vios was there and i still couldnt see the sight of my car.. I'm so worried that i rushed into the big car wash place and look for my car. Not a sight of it then ii went to ask the owner of the car wash, he then ask me to check if my spare keys are there..Nothing similar but i manage to get one key which is slightly similar and then go search for my car again. Nothing again!!! So pissed.. asked the owner and he searched for me also, (it's a big open air car wash area), and he couldnt find them too...Then as i walk, i went into an underground mall parking area and look for my car..Sigh, am devastated that it's not there... sobbing and thinking "Jie's gonna kill me!!!"... Then... it ended just so sudden.. lol

Next, i was in a dont-know-what-place and my prince charming were there (i'm sorry, this time is an unknown guy who has six packs and damn good looking)... we were in a place where i think it's a graduation concert going on.. (couldnt remember well where it is).. Ok, all i know is that, me and the prince charming are not a couple yet! Then Leng San came into my dream where he came for the party and we had a blast then it was so sudden it's a farewelll and leng san is heading back home. I'm so upset that i cried (what the heck, i didnt want to admit this.. cis cis cis).. then it was raining outside and i told him to go back tomorrow but he didnt want so he goes off in the rain~~~

Ok, back to my prince charming.. He kissed me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.......Sounded so chezzy~ gosh.. but anyway he's really madly in love with me that he did everything for me! (it's a dream)So.. i dont know what happen next~~ HA HA HA HA

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Well, that's about it.. my dreams.. actually there're more but i didnt want this dreams to happen so i decided to post this up! You know how people said, when you have a bad dream, you should say it out so that it won't happen! of all dreams ~~~~ SUCH A DREAM~~~ sot liao